I hope I remember…

April 12, 2016

Dear Adam,

After feeding you this afternoon, you fell asleep on my chest. Instead of putting you down so I could switch the laundry / wash dishes / get a snack / write thank you notes, I just held you. And cried. (Also, Sleeping at Last was playing which is such beautiful, moving music!)

I cried because I love you so much.

I cried because I so desperately hope I remember these exact moments and how little you feel all curled up on my chest. I just softly rubbed your back up and down trying to lock in my memory its length.

I hope I remember the way you “scratch” my side so sweetly while breastfeeding as if to say thank you.

I hope I remember your new little dimples on your knuckles.

I hope I remember the way you look milk-drunk when you “sit” up to burp.

I hope I remember the way your head smells (sweet heaven)!

I hope I remember all of your funny faces and funny noises and grunts!

I hope I remember the sweetness of when you look straight into my eyes.

I hope I remember your sideways smile when you’re falling asleep.

I hope I remember how your forehead wrinkles stretch across your face.

Even in my tiredness, I hope I create memories of all these things. I don’t want to miss them.

Tomorrow you are eight weeks old. You’ve made some big changes and big growth recently and I’m more in love with you every day!

Also, tonight is your first night in your crib. So many emotions!!

You are my whole heart.
Mom

2 comments

Lezlie - April 12, 2016 - 11:10 pm

This is beautiful and you made me cry!
I love you. You are such a good mommy and Adam adores you!

Ruth conner - April 13, 2016 - 7:12 am

Beautiful memories! Thank you for sharing your heart. You are blessed.

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